A Grim Rant on the First Trimester of My Second Pregnancy

11 weeks- baby is lime-sized

I'm so thankful it's over. I'm so thankful that I kept my cool...for the most part. Or maybe I just won't tell you about the time where I wanted to strangle the well-meaning employee at Chipotle for forgetting to put my side order of guacamole, (the only food I could eat that night) into my take-out order and only discovered it after my husband arrived home with our meal. Speaking of food, did you know that in some rare, desperate cases some local restaurants will deliver food to your home even though they don't regularly deliver their food? Thank you MJ's Cafe. You saved my life a few times. (And they even brought me extra pickles God bless their souls) There were many times where I felt like a failure as a mother, spending my days with my son in front of the TV watching endless amounts of movies instead of our normal social or creative activities and feeding him more convenience foods rather than our usual healthy choices. He sometimes ate Ramen Noodles with me. I may as well have measured out one cup of salt and poured it into some boiling water with some noodles because that's exactly what those "foods" consist of.  I was a poster mom of what NOT to do with your child when you stay home.

belli kisses

 I was so constantly nauseous, (it's not morning sickness, it's 24 hour sickness) that I couldn't eat much and what I could eat wasn't sustaining me.  Cooking, the thought of cooking, and any cooking smells in the house make my gag reflex swing into full action.  I lived on Honey Nut Cheerios, grapes, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So really just loads of processed sugar and maybe some nuts and berries like a savage in the wilderness. I couldn't eat any of my normal, healthy foods that make me feel good. It was an ugly cycle of bad food, leading to extremely low energy, many couch days, lost social outlets, and sleepless nights due to hunger. There were weeks at a time where I didn't leave my house and when people did not show any understanding as to why we missed a holiday event, I was left dumbfounded at their lack of empathy.

Vegetarian minestrone for a quiet Thanksgiving at home

 I wasn't surprised when extreme bouts of depression and anxiety started seeping through the cracks of my mind causing me to feel like I wasn't going to be able to handle keeping it together for my one child, and the thought of another on the way seemed like an insurmountable feat. The, "What did I do?" (completely untrue to my heart's desires) types of thoughts were there. There was lots of late night grocery store runs for my husband because being inside a grocery store with all of it's food smells made me want to hurl. He was doing double duties at home while I lay on the couch in nauseous but hungry pains popping Zofran like they were Skittles. My sweet little son at only 2 and a half years old caught on quick to the drastic change in me. "Mommy, come to the store. Please? It's not scary mommy. Come on!" GUILT. "I'm sorry baby, Mommy doesn't feel good right now. I need to rest,"  I would say. The few times I would leave the couch after my husband was home for the night, Aiden would automatically go get me a pillow, my blanket and my trusty pack of Saltines so they would be nearby. It was the sweetest thing, but again made me feel extremely guilty that he felt the need to help me. I should be helping him, he's the child. Once during a difficult car ride out of town my husband told me that when I got out of the car to use the restroom, Aiden looked at him sadly shaking his head saying, "Mommy is sad, Mommy is not good." That one really killed me. I always tried to hide it as best as I could, but as I always knew and even experienced myself as a child-kids know. They are like miniature, mind-x-ray machines and they always know when you are putting up a front. Hopefully he's young enough to forget the three months I was practically an absent mother. There were however a few...shall I emphasize, FEW times that family and friends were available to help which was really nice. One time a good friend offered to take Aiden on a field trip to a wildlife museum for the whole day with her, ah-em THREE other children under three years old. SHE.IS.A.SUPERMOM. and I will forever be grateful for her kindness that day. I am also very grateful to my husband who never, ever gave me a hard time for being difficult, (like I could help it, see how easily you operate when you can't eat and feel like you're about to hurl 24/7), for having the patience of a saint, and for all the extra things he did to make me as comfortable as possible. I will forever be grateful to you my love.
Like any rough patch in life, it's those closest to you who carry you through. Thank you, I am overjoyed that part is over. I'm going to go eat my three course dinner now because I am so happy I can :)

He learned to make lasagna 

It's A GIRL!!!!!!!!

I Couldn't Resist I Guess...

Earlier today I posted this to Facebook: If you haven't received a Christmas card from the Bishop's this year it's not because we don't love you. It's because we didn't send any this year. So just look at one of our millions of Facebook pics, attach a "Merry Christmas" to it and we'll call it good ok? :)




I was serious too. With the rough past couple of months of pregnancy symptoms paired with trying to keep up with an active two and a half year old, I had a certain list of priorities for the Christmas season and sending out 50 cards was NOT part of the top 10 priorities. Things like teaching my son the story of Jesus's birth and Christmas songs, buying and making homemade gifts, baking, having Aiden create holiday crafts, and showing up at holiday parties with my hair actually washed were. Period.
But then I remembered a $20 Shutterfly promo card sitting in my desk I got a while back while shopping at Destination Maternity. And Aiden decided to nap today. So we purchased only 20 of these just for our families. Maybe we're not so bah-humbug after all. But I'm still not setting foot in a mall until after the holidays are over. :)

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Last Minute Christmas Wreaths

Need a last minute way to impress the family with some yummy treats on Christmas? A project for the kids to do while you wrap presents? Or, a way to schmooze your way into some extra vacation time from your boss? Or how about a ring? Trying to get that slower than molasses boy to put a rock on your finger? Then try these, they are super duper yummy and you can create a whole batch in no time at all. My sister and I used to make these with my Grandma when we were kids. You know they're gonna be good when they come from a Grandma! :)

You'll need:

1 bag of large marshmallows
1 stick of butter
Green food coloring
3 cups of cornflakes
Red Hot cinnamon candies- found at Dollar Store
Wax paper
Cooking spray


Melt the butter and marshmallows together on the stovetop, medium heat until a thick gooey syrup forms. Add in 15 drops of green food coloring. When it looks like this,

then remove from heat and mix in the 3 cups of cornflakes until they are completely covered in this Grinch-colored oooozy goodness. 

Now lay out some wax paper which has been sprayed with cooking oil spray, butter up your fingers and drop spoonfuls of the mixture on the wax paper to cool for a bit. After they have cooled, (about 4 minutes) then form into wreath shapes with your buttered baking hands. Let your munchkin try too. He'll eat most of it. 

After the gooey mess slightly resembles wreath shapes, place your red hot candies on by pressing them gently into the wreaths. I've heard some people use corn syrup to get these little suckers to stick, but I never have. 

Yum! Now try not to eat them all before you get to your family's house for Christmas! 

Montessori At Home: Marble Transferring Activity

In the past few months I have been taking ideas from various Montessori homeschooling books and websites and implementing them in our daily home activities. One of this week's activities is this simple marble transferring activity which helps develop hand eye coordination, concentration, fine motor control, and the ability to be persistent when presented with a difficult task.

I thought Aiden would have a much harder time with this at first but he caught on right away. The only frustrating part for him in the beginning was scooping the marbles up with the spoon. He used his hands a few times and then I showed him how to tilt the spoon to pick up the marbles and he got it. He was pretty proud of himself when he had finally got all the marbles into the bottle.

And for the record: I am totally anti-plastic water bottles, especially paying $1.49 for this fancy FIJI water but I didn't have any containers at home suitable for this project because we use Camelbak's in our house but I found this at Walgreen's and it was the perfect size. And by the way, that FIJI water didn't taste any different than my tap water and it didn't give me any super powers...well yet. :)

Weaned at 30 months

When I began nursing my newborn son, I had no idea we would be going strong until he was 2 and a half years old. It's just not common in our society. But now after being a parent myself, I have found that most of the unconventional parenting practices as opposed to the mainstream ones have worked best for us and have made my boy one happy little guy. Like child-led weaning for example. I had come to the understanding that although it's not a choice for many, it certainly worked for us. I wanted Aiden to decide when he was done nursing the natural way and not take something away from him that he needed because mainstream society was uncomfortable with it. I've found that many mothers would have nursed their babies longer but were pressured by friends, family or even their doctors that one year old was the appropriate age to wean. Appropriate age for who? The baby? Certainly not the baby, a lot of babies still very much need and want their mommy's milk at one year old. And others don't. But the ones who do put up a big fight when Mommy decides it's time to wean. And they should because why is something that is nutritionally beneficial and natural for them to desire being suddenly taken away from them? The answer is because sadly our society has over-sexualized women's breasts and forgotten why God gave them to us in the first place. ~Psalms 22:9~ I wasn't about to base my views on breastfeeding on the views of our misguided world. Sheesh. The WHO recommends breastfeeding, "Up to two years of age and beyond."

In the few months leading up to Aiden weaning, he would only ask for my milk once every other day or so. Sometimes only every 3 days. "I want Mommy's milk" he'd say,  Or, " I want Mommy's boobies!" from around two years of age until then, nursings were something that I only gave him when he asked for them, I didn't just offer all the time as part of a routine for nap or bedtime. I was getting tired of it too sometimes wondering when he was going to be done. Other times, I would look down at him suckling away, looking so much like a little boy instead of a baby and throughly cherish the short time we had left for this special mommy-son bonding. There were times when I wondered if we would still be nursing when he was three years old, my anticipated limit on nursing my child. 

At the end of September when I found out I was pregnant, I had visions of us nursing through my pregnancy with my big round belli cuddling in bed like the true granola parents I take some of my ideas from. That vision was abruptly turned around as soon as my morning, (all day) sickness hit in full force. I  was feeling so awful and that meant I didn't want anyone touching me, especially when it came to nursing my 2 and a half year old. A week went by with no nursings during that first week of sick time and Aiden didn't ask for it. On one good day I felt guilty so I nursed him to sleep for naptime mainly because I missed our closeness. Then another week went by and he never mentioned it.  Then one night, he asked for, "Mommy's milk" before bedtime and since I happened to be feeling ok that night I happily nursed him. I looked down at his beautiful little face and remembered all the different stages in his young life through which we had nursed. I was so happy that I could comfort and nourish him in this way for as long as we did. I whispered to my husband to please go get our camera to document our last nursing session. I hope that through this photo, more women will become more comfortable with the normalcy of breastfeeding their young children. If not in doing it themselves, but at the very least becoming more comfortable with the idea that breastfeeding does not have to stop at 6 or 12 months of age. That is does not need to be covered up with a Hooter Hider and can be done discreetly anytime and anywhere. That it is quite possibly the best way we can nourish our babies and toddlers conveniently with love. 

Halloween

The official announcement:

Our church trunk or treat event:

And some trick or treating with friends: